I served in the RAF. I know what it's like to live in a culture where you crack on, don't complain, and sort yourself out. I know that asking for help feels like weakness. And I know that by the time most veterans actually pick up the phone, things have been bad for a long time.
You don't need to explain military life to me. You don't need to provide context for things that civilians wouldn't understand. You don't need to worry about being judged for what you've seen or done. I get it. That's not a marketing line. It's 13 years of clinical experience combined with my own time in uniform.
Why veterans don't ask for help
The military trains resilience into you. That's a good thing when you're serving. It becomes a problem when it stops you recognising that something is wrong, or when it tells you that struggling means you're weak.
There's also the trust issue. Opening up to someone who's never served feels like a risk. You're going to spend time explaining things that should be obvious. You'll get the sympathetic head tilt. You'll be asked "how did that make you feel?" about something that doesn't translate into civilian emotional language. I've heard this from veterans more times than I can count.
Then there's the identity piece. In the military, you know who you are. You have a role, a rank, a regiment, a purpose. After you leave, who are you? That question hits harder than most people expect, and it can hit years after discharge.
If any of that resonates, you're not unusual. You're describing the experience of thousands of veterans across the country.
What I see veterans dealing with
Over 13 years, I've worked with veterans from every branch and every era. The issues vary, but certain themes come up consistently:
PTSD and trauma
The one everyone thinks of. Flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, avoidance. Sometimes from a single incident. Sometimes from the cumulative weight of multiple tours. Sometimes from things that don't involve combat at all. Not every traumatic experience happens on the front line. Training accidents, witnessing injuries, being on the receiving end of bullying, these count too.
I use trauma-focused CBT, which is a NICE-recommended treatment for PTSD. It works. The evidence is strong and my experience backs it up.
Moral injury
This is different from PTSD, though they often overlap. Moral injury happens when you've been involved in or witnessed something that violates your moral code. It's not fear-based like PTSD. It's guilt, shame, anger, a sense that something fundamentally changed about who you are. Standard trauma protocols don't always reach it. I use a specific approach that addresses the moral and existential aspects.
Anger and irritability
The military values controlled aggression. Civvy street doesn't. Many veterans find themselves operating at a level of intensity that worked in service but causes problems at home. Road rage. Snapping at partners and kids. Getting into confrontations over minor things. The anger often masks something else, usually anxiety, grief, or a sense of injustice, but it's the anger that causes the immediate damage.
Hypervigilance
Always scanning. Always assessing threats. Sitting with your back to the wall. Checking exits. Struggling in crowds. Jumping at sudden noises. Your nervous system is still operating in a threat environment that no longer exists. It's exhausting and it isolates you from normal life.
Transition and identity
Leaving the forces is one of the biggest life changes anyone can go through. You lose your identity, your structure, your community, your purpose. All at once. Some people navigate it well. Others fall apart, sometimes not immediately but months or years later when the reality sinks in.
Relationship difficulties
Service puts strain on relationships. The separations, the emotional unavailability, the things you can't or won't talk about. After leaving, many veterans find that the patterns they developed during service, emotional shutdown, difficulty with vulnerability, needing to be in control, are destroying their relationships. Partners and families struggle too.
Alcohol and substance misuse
Drinking culture in the forces is well documented. For many veterans, what started as social drinking or stress relief has become a serious problem. I work with addiction alongside other issues because treating the drinking without addressing what's driving it doesn't lead to lasting change.
Why seeing a veteran therapist matters
I'll be direct about this. A good therapist who hasn't served can absolutely help veterans. Training and skill matter more than shared experience in most cases.
But there's something about sitting across from someone who's been in. You don't have to translate. You don't have to explain the banter, the hierarchy, the mindset. You don't have to worry about shocking me. I've heard it. I understand the culture from the inside, not from a textbook.
That understanding means we get to the actual work faster. Less time explaining context. More time making progress.
Concessions for those who've served
I offer reduced rates for all military veterans, serving personnel, reservists, and blue light workers. Full stop. I believe that if you've served your country or your community, accessing mental health support shouldn't be a financial battle on top of everything else.
Contact me directly to discuss the concession rate. I don't publicise the exact figure because I'd rather have a conversation and work out what's right for your situation.
Taking the first step
I know this is hard. Every veteran I've worked with has told me that making the first call was the hardest part. Harder than any session that followed.
The free 15-minute consultation is just a phone call. You tell me a bit about what's going on. I tell you whether I think I can help. That's it. No commitment. No clinical language. Just a straight conversation.
Book through the contact page or call me directly on 07469 870 295.
You spent years looking after your mates. It's time someone had your back.
